


How Darcy Lewis Kissed All of the Avengers

by queersuperteens (ruffboi)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Lots of kissing, Multi, not a lot of actual shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 04:12:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruffboi/pseuds/queersuperteens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the morning, when she was sober, she couldn't entirely trace the thought process that led to “kissing the Avengers is a totally awesome idea”, but after a few cups of coffee and a couple hours transferring Jane’s data to her computer database, Darcy decided that it was a totally awesome idea.  If nothing else, it would give her a hell of a story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Darcy Lewis Kissed All of the Avengers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nottonyharrison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nottonyharrison/gifts).



> I wrote this in one night after work to give to Kim, because she is the best, and because she'd finished an outline she'd been working on. And also because she drew Carol based on Anna Torv. SHE KNOWS WHY SHE DESERVES THIS.
> 
> It is unbeta'd (though I did go through it for spelling and grammar) and is the first thing I've written in way too long. _Victory_.

It started pretty innocently, all told - Darcy had gotten stuck, by some ridiculous twist of fate, in a coffee shop on a block that Dr. Doom had decided offended him or something ridiculous like that. The Fantastic Four were busy doing something else (and wasn’t that _just_ like that asshole Reed Richards, from everything Tony and Bruce had let slip), so the Avengers were the ones who dove in to save the day and get Doom back to his embassy or his ridiculous little country or wherever it was they sent him after a battle.

And then Captain America himself came into the rubble of the coffee shop, looking worried, and when he relaxed visibly at the sight of her, Darcy realized that they knew this was her coffee joint of choice and had been worried. He strode over and helped her to her feet, and in her relief at being alive and the slight ego boost at realizing the Avengers worried about _her_ , she put a hand on either side of Steve’s face and kissed him.

“Sorry,” she said immediately after breaking it off before he could react. “I just kinda thought I was toast there for a few minutes.”

“It’s fine,” Steve says, but he looks a little sheepish, and refuses to tell Tony why he looks so awkward after coming out.

It would have just been a one-off thing, most likely, except that then came the Princess Bride Drinking Game one Tuesday night, and in the midst of an argument on whether or not Princess Buttercup was the actual hero of the story, Darcy threw her hands up in disgust and leaned over, placing a sloppy drunk kiss on Clint’s lips, neatly stopping his train of thought.

“You’re wrong,” she told him plainly. He gaped at her for a moment until he glanced over at Natasha and saw her actually attempting to hold back a smile (which for Natasha of course meant that she absolutely wanted him to see her smiling), and just threw up his hands.

“Okay, okay, I know when I’m beat,” he said, playing at exasperated but really kind of pleased at the sudden physical attention. He ruffled Darcy’s hair and they took their shots as Inigo introduced himself yet again, and as they all laughed and drank and Steve sighed fondly at them all Darcy decided that she was going to kiss them all, every last one.

In the morning, when she was sober, she couldn’t entirely trace the thought process that led to “kissing the Avengers is a totally awesome idea”, but after a few cups of coffee and a couple hours transferring Jane’s data to her computer database, Darcy decided that it was a totally awesome idea. If nothing else, it would give her a hell of a story. She started planning her course of action as she filled in Excel spreadsheets.

Tony and Thor both were going to be a little more difficult, considering the whole “significant other” thing, so she put them off for a bit. Natasha was a little terrifying, and Darcy couldn’t quite figure out how best to approach her. So clearly the first person she had to kiss was Bruce.

The perfect moment came when he’d made some sort of heavenly curry dish for supper - he didn’t cook often, and he couldn’t cook many things, but what he _could_ cook was just this side of impossibly delicious. After they finished eating, she turned to him and said, “That was so fucking delicious, I could _kiss you_ right now,”

“Heh, okay,” Bruce said, clearly assuming it was a turn of phrase, but Darcy leaned over the arm of the couch to the chair he was perched on and kissed him. It lasted a little longer than she expected, not like the quick spontaneous-and-chaste press of lips she’d had with Steve or the ridiculous joke of a kiss she’d had with Clint, and she couldn’t say she minded. For the couple of seconds that it lasted, she found that his lips were really soft, and that he tasted like curry and citrus. He kissed back briefly before jerking back with a truly baffled look on his face, and Tony wolf whistled from the kitchen.

“Bruce, you’re secretly a ladies’ man!” he crowed, and Bruce just shook his head.

“I don’t think so.” It wasn’t really phrased like a question, but he quirked an eyebrow at Darcy when he said it, and she shrugged with a sheepish grin.

“I was curious, what can I say?” she said. Bruce shook his head with a similar sort of fond exasperation that he usually directed at Tony.

“I’m glad you liked the curry,” he said, and they never spoke of it again.

Thor was pretty easy, when it came down to it. She just waited until it was time for her and Jane to have girls’ night, showed up early, and got up on tiptoes to kiss Thor when he opened the door. He didn’t seem too phased by it, greeting her and stepping aside to let her in afterwards.

“That’s just not fair,” Jane said, like Darcy expected she would. “If you’re going to kiss my boyfriend--”

“You’re right,” Darcy interrupted, trotted over to Jane, and planted a much less chaste kiss on her best friend’s lips. Thor’s laugh and Jane’s flabbergasted (and flushed, Darcy felt quite accomplished on that count) expression made it well worth it.

While waiting to put her plan to get a kiss from Tony into motion, which she couldn’t do just yet, she decided that the best way to get a kiss from Natasha was to be up front about it.

“So, I’m kind of trying to get a Feat of Strength achievement here,” she said as she wandered into the gym where Natasha was stretching after a workout. “Kisses from all the Avengers. Do you mind?”

Natasha raised an eyebrow and stared Darcy down for a moment. It was very intimidating and very hot, and Darcy thought that she’d be reduced to a quivering mass of jelly for even asking. Instead, Natasha just shrugged, and as she passed Darcy on the way to (presumably) grab a shower, she wrapped an arm around Darcy’s waist and gave her a rather thorough kiss.

Darcy retreated to her room to spend some quality time with her Hitachi after that.

All that was left after that was Tony, and she got to put her plan to the test only a few days later when Pepper came back from a business trip.

“Pepper, I really really need to kiss your boyfriend,” she said when Pepper walked into the kitchen. “It’s for science.”

“What?” Pepper asked, clearly baffled by the sudden declaration.

“I need to kiss your boyfriend for science,” she repeated. “And I can almost guarantee that it’ll take his ego down a peg afterwards, so do you mind if I do? You can say no,” she added hurriedly. It was one thing to kiss your best friend’s boyfriend out of the blue, Pepper was a CEO and classy and not all _that_ close to Darcy (yet), and she didn’t want to piss her off.

She was way scarier than Tony, pissed off.

“I... sure, I guess so,” Pepper said, shaking her head a little. “His ego could generally use getting a little air taken out of it.”

“Cool, thank you!” Darcy grinned, and ran off to take Jane her coffee. 

Later that day, Tony came by to poke at whatever Jane was working on (Darcy didn’t honestly care, she was never that interested in physical sciences) and Darcy stood in his way.

“Uh, Lewis, gotta get through here,” he said, trying to slip around her.

“Your girlfriend said I could kiss you for science,” She declared, hands on her hips, then stepped in and kissed him. Tony, for his part, went along with it pretty willingly (the fact that Pepper had given permission likely a big part of that), and when she pulled back, she pursed her lips thoughtfully.

“Darcy, you can’t keep randomly kissing people and their boyfriends,” Jane protested.

“People _and_ their boyfriends? Did she kiss Pepper? Did you kiss Pepper?” Tony was intensely examining her like he could see Pepper’s lipstick if he looked close enough. “Did you kiss Pepper and not invite me to _watch_?”

“I didn’t kiss Pepper,” Darcy told him. “I was testing who was the best kisser in the Avengers.” Which was sort of true, if you squinted. Tony started to grin, probably pre-emptively giving the victory to himself. “It’s definitely Natasha,” Darcy said with a sweet smile.

“Seriously?” Tony asked, offended.

“Bruce gets second place.”

“Oh, come _on_!”

“Steve gets third place because of those _pecs_.”

Tony scowled at her. “Now you’re just being mean.”

“Yeah,” she admitted with a grin. “I am.”

About two weeks later, she caught Agent iPod-Stealer Coulson coming out of the living room after the Avengers returned from some overseas thing they’d been dealing with, and Darcy realized that there was one more important person that she had not kissed. She strode up to him, and he stared impassively back at her.

“I forgive you for stealing my iPod,” she told him, then tried to kiss him on the cheek. She wasn’t _suicidal_ , give her some credit. Unfortunately, he seemed to be expecting it, and ducked out of the way and past her before she could react.

“That’s always good to hear,” Agent Coulson said, and continued to the door. “Oh, and Miss Lewis?”

Darcy raised an eyebrow as he turned back to her. “Yeah?”

“This is one Feat of Strength you will not be getting.”

Darcy just gaped after him for a good minute after he left.

**Author's Note:**

> A "Feat of Strength" is a sort of achievement you can get in World of Warcraft that is extremely difficult to get.


End file.
